She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The air was thick with penises
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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