You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
