My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
