would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
