he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize