Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
