its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
