I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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