So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i will never coherently bang her
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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