Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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