She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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