just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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