To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
