do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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