I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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