Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
