you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
