Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
