Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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