I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize