I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
