I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
