Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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