Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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