Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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