dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
