garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
