The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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