Do you still have your period?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
