He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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