I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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