I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
