you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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