What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
God gave him joint rollers for hands
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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