Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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