I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
They have beer where we have blood.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
