I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Text me some of your sweat
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
