ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
