btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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