You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
