I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
