im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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