She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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