fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize