her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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