Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
