i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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