it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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