their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize