It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it glows. i had to have it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
