I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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