I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize