I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
