butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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