im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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