Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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