shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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