I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
