he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
