If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She even gives head with a lisp.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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