Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
