Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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