he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
